Hi I'm Jamie. I've been singing, playing guitar, and writing music for Slow Andy since 2001. In the beginning, Scotty and I needed a musical outlet to supplement our drinking and thus... Slow Andy was born. When the band started out we had a completely different line up, made up of old friends who, aside from the Five-0, had never played their instruments before, but Slow Andy chugged along oblivious to their incompetence. Times change and people move on, the line up has changed, and now we've pushing 30 and Slow Andy remains talentless. Well, not technically... we've added members who now know how to play their instrument and the writing continues to improve. When my child brain was developed enough to choose my own music, I began listening to the likes of the Dead Milkmen, the Dead Kennedys, Bad Religion... stuff like that, but grew up on greats like Jerry Lee Lewis, Buddy Holly, Jerry Reed and shit like that. Now I manage to like them all and that’s where Slow Andy comes in. I like to think that I write and perform music falls between there somewhere and I hope I've achieved some kind of success. Anyhow... I hope you enjoyed my bio more than I did writing it. Writing about yourself is fairly annoying. If someone wants to write a better one for me, send me an email and if it’s complimentary enough, I'll post it in this shit pile's place.
 

Scotty Five-0 has been rocking out for a whopping seventeen years. He has been a part of some of the local scene's most talked about bands,("Did you hear those guys? Man they sucked"). The bands include Absolute Zero, Backlash, Those Guys, Shaft, 404 and Ghengis Khanrad and the Mongoloids. He was one of the founding members of Slow Andy and somehow stuck around.

His favorite songs to perform outside of the band are 80's hair metal classics such as Talk Dirty To Me, Cherry Pie, and Sunglasses At Night. He has also been sighted wearing leather pants and going shirtless.

Before joining Slow Andy, Matt Dunphy worked mostly in fakey computer music. His only other on-stage performances were one-off gigs like the high school talent show, playing the Phoenix Club at First Night York 98, and playing electronic music at Graffiti’s coffee shop in exchange for free food. During an early restructuring of Slow Andy, Matt was asked to join the band as a drummer, given his prior experience programming drum machines. So for three or four years, Matt pretended to play drums with the band, until founding bassist Steve got a real job making a lot of money. Seizing the opportunity, Matt swapped his drum sticks for bass picks, and eventually found someone else to play drums.

Beyond Slow Andy, Matt also has an acoustic/electronic side-project with his wife Mel & his buddy Jordan Smith, called Tears for Agnes, which isn’t as gothy as it sounds, I swear. Okay, maybe a little bit. It’s an excuse to wank around on guitars, bass, pianos, synthesizers, and drumboxes, and generally be really, really pretentious, but in a not-dick-headed way. NIN, Crass, Lard, Coil, Dead Kennedys, Cake, and Ministry have all cast their influence on Matt, who is sick of talking in the third person, and will wrap up the bio now.

So I've been asked to write a bio of myself. How does one write a bio? What's considered important enough that you, the fans of Slow Andy, need to know? Well for starters we can start with my name. Cory McClain. Yeah, I'm an Irishman. Who looks like an Arab. And has the drinking habits of a Mormon. What kind of Irishman am I? Anyway....so yeah, I have never done any form of drugs, never smoked a cigarette and never drank any alcohol in all my years and I just recently quit all forms of caffiene, yet I do not classify, nor do I wish to be classified, as a straight edge kid. So if you want to buy me a drink at a show, do us both a favor and forgo the booze and get me a damn bottle of water. I've been playing drums since birth practically. Everyone in my family is a drummer of some kind. My dad played in a big blues band back in his day. Both of my brothers play. Must be inborn in me. I've played with a ton of bands that never went anywhere aside from my practice space. The one and only show I've ever done was with The Acetone Babies and we played in some guy's apartment to about six or seven other people. I don't even think our bassist showed up to that one. Hmm...bands I like. Well, I don't claim to be a fan of punk music nor do I try to be anything I'm not so here this goes. My favorite band is Jimmy Eat World. Yeah, I know, it's pussy rock, but I like what I like, so you can get over that. Other favorites include Muse, Lostprophets, Deftones, Incubus, Death Cab For Cutie....yeah...not a single punk band. But don't let that hamper your opinion of me. Music doesn't say who a person is. And it doesn't affect how I play either. I'm a rampant cinema junkie. Horror is without a doubt my favorite genre. But I'll watch just about anything once. The same goes with food. Oh man, food is neck and neck with sex as my favorite thing in the world. I'll eat anything you put in front of me. Usually. Just hold the mayo, tomato and onion and down it goes. So I think I covered just about all of the pertinent information. Isn't that what a bio is supposed to accomplish? I think so. Maybe this has been a bit too much information. But who cares?